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Post by BigBruvOfEnglandUK on Jul 2, 2023 19:41:19 GMT
I visited a monastery the other day and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips. I asked him "Are you the friar?"
He replied "No, I'm the chip monk
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Post by Magnus on Jul 3, 2023 2:51:15 GMT
Mr Singh walks into a bank in London and asks for the loan officer. He says he's going to India on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so Mr Singh hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce, which costs a quarter of a million pounds. “The car is parked on the street in front of the bank,” says Mr Singh, “and I have all the necessary papers.” The bank officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. After Mr Singh leaves, the loan officer, the bank's president, and all their colleagues enjoy a good laugh at the man for using a £250,000 Rolls Royce as collateral against a £5,000 loan. One of the employees drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, Mr Singh returns, and repays the £5000 and the interest, which comes to £15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, I must tell you, we’re all a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and discovered that you’re a multimillionaire. Why would you bother to borrow £5,000?" Mr Singh replies, "Where else in London can I park my car for two weeks for only £15.41?"
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Post by BigBruvOfEnglandUK on Jul 8, 2023 5:57:20 GMT
"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible." "Well, tell him I can't see him right now."
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moxohol
Caneguru
Biohacker
Quod tu es, ego fui. Quod ego sum, tu eris.
Posts: 3,386
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Funny!
Jul 8, 2023 7:07:08 GMT
via mobile
Post by moxohol on Jul 8, 2023 7:07:08 GMT
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Funny!
Jul 8, 2023 21:28:40 GMT
Post by BigBruvOfEnglandUK on Jul 8, 2023 21:28:40 GMT
"Video isn't available This video isn't available in your country or region"
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Post by BigBruvOfEnglandUK on Jul 9, 2023 19:16:55 GMT
A brain walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says ‘I’m not serving you, you’re out of your head’
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moxohol
Caneguru
Biohacker
Quod tu es, ego fui. Quod ego sum, tu eris.
Posts: 3,386
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Post by moxohol on Jul 10, 2023 8:54:19 GMT
Q: What did the big chimney say to the little one? A: You’re too small to smoke!
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moxohol
Caneguru
Biohacker
Quod tu es, ego fui. Quod ego sum, tu eris.
Posts: 3,386
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Post by moxohol on Jul 15, 2023 16:55:00 GMT
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Post by Magnus on Jul 17, 2023 23:27:45 GMT
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trog
Caneguru
Wild Thing
Trog
Posts: 682
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Post by trog on Jul 20, 2023 15:18:01 GMT
If there's one thing that makes me throw up, it's a dart board on the ceiling.
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Post by BigBruvOfEnglandUK on Aug 4, 2023 6:51:40 GMT
How do you make an octopus laugh? Give it ten tickles.
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Funny!
Aug 5, 2023 20:43:01 GMT
Post by BigBruvOfEnglandUK on Aug 5, 2023 20:43:01 GMT
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Post by hhenthusiast on Aug 24, 2023 0:04:43 GMT
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
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trog
Caneguru
Wild Thing
Trog
Posts: 682
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Post by trog on Aug 25, 2023 10:53:05 GMT
Looking forward to REM's comeback single
'If You Believe, They Put A Naan On The Moon'
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Post by BigBruvOfEnglandUK on Aug 25, 2023 22:55:14 GMT
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