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Post by Magnus on Apr 16, 2023 20:50:10 GMT
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Post by hhenthusiast on Apr 22, 2023 23:05:05 GMT
I used to operate a chicken dating service. But I had difficulty making hens meet.
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Post by Magnus on Apr 24, 2023 15:06:40 GMT
The Genius of Steven Wright: 1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. 2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back. 3 - Half the people you know are below average. 4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot. 6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. 7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain. 9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand. 10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ..... But she left me before we met. 12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark? 13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink? 14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. 15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. 18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now. 19 - I intend to live forever ... So far, so good. 20 - If Barbie is so popu, why do you have to buy her friends? 21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice? 23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." 24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name 25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. 26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. 27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. 29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. 30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. 31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. 32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. 33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film. 34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work
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moxohol
Caneguru
Biohacker
Quod tu es, ego fui. Quod ego sum, tu eris.
Posts: 3,386
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Post by moxohol on Apr 24, 2023 17:35:04 GMT
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Post by BigBruvOfEnglandUK on Apr 24, 2023 23:07:40 GMT
The Genius of Steven Wright: Indeed. I love his delivery. It makes it so much funnier, m8.
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Funny!
Apr 24, 2023 23:08:36 GMT
Post by BigBruvOfEnglandUK on Apr 24, 2023 23:08:36 GMT
That guy is always cracking up at something. His reactions are hilarious, m8.
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Post by Magnus on Apr 25, 2023 0:09:27 GMT
The Genius of Steven Wright: Indeed. I love his delivery. It makes it so much funnier, m8. The trick is to read it in his voice, m8...
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Post by Magnus on Apr 25, 2023 0:18:11 GMT
Indeed. I love his delivery. It makes it so much funnier, m8. The trick is to read it in his voice, m8... ***I do the same whenever I read the posts from all of my UK brothers... Except I read all your posts in Mary Poppins sing-song voice
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Post by BigBruvOfEnglandUK on Apr 25, 2023 0:30:45 GMT
I always read my UK m8s posts in Dick Van Dyke's attempt at a Cockney accent, m8.
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moxohol
Caneguru
Biohacker
Quod tu es, ego fui. Quod ego sum, tu eris.
Posts: 3,386
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Post by moxohol on Apr 26, 2023 14:50:15 GMT
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moxohol
Caneguru
Biohacker
Quod tu es, ego fui. Quod ego sum, tu eris.
Posts: 3,386
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Post by moxohol on Apr 27, 2023 5:57:06 GMT
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Post by BigBruvOfEnglandUK on May 11, 2023 9:47:05 GMT
A friend of mine is an expert in making clown shoes. It’s no small feat.
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Post by BigBruvOfEnglandUK on May 12, 2023 6:17:06 GMT
I watched a chicken cross the road. It was poultry in motion.
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Post by machinehead on May 12, 2023 15:57:21 GMT
The people of Dubai don't like the Flintstones. But the people of Abu Dabhi Do.
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Post by gruntbrain on May 15, 2023 20:21:37 GMT
Aging humor beings unite! ( even if we offend and ain't funny)
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