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Post by BigBruvOfEnglandUK on Jun 22, 2022 9:43:11 GMT
To the person who stole my shoes while I was on the Bouncy Castle. Fookin grow up.
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trog
Caneguru
Wild Thing
Trog
Posts: 651
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Post by trog on Jun 29, 2022 9:12:57 GMT
A nun is a n doing a cartwheel.
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moxohol
Caneguru
Biohacker
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Posts: 3,263
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Post by moxohol on Jul 2, 2022 16:17:05 GMT
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Post by BigBruvOfEnglandUK on Aug 2, 2022 6:47:26 GMT
Had to chase a badger away from my house the other day in my pyjamas. I've no idea how he got into them.
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Post by Magnus on Aug 3, 2022 20:03:45 GMT
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Post by brennus on Aug 4, 2022 15:43:43 GMT
A moral conundrum I recently heard:
If honesty is the best policy, then dishonesty must be the second best policy. That's still not too bad!
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Post by BigBruvOfEnglandUK on Aug 8, 2022 0:34:47 GMT
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Post by Magnus on Aug 8, 2022 11:39:34 GMT
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Post by BigBruvOfEnglandUK on Aug 11, 2022 8:12:25 GMT
I really needed to make some extra money, so I started a dating site for chickens. It's not my day job - I do it to make hens meet.
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Post by Alan OldStudent on Aug 16, 2022 9:09:07 GMT
Why are you guys still using the Imperial (as in British Empire) system? It's about time you stopped clinging on to us, m8s.
Aw please m8s!
It's so fookin' hard for us to unlatch from your big, floppy, comfortable teats!
Give us a bleeding break, will you?
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Post by BigBruvOfEnglandUK on Aug 26, 2022 20:50:55 GMT
Fell asleep on my smartphone the other day. I had downloaded a nap.
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Post by BigBruvOfEnglandUK on Aug 28, 2022 1:31:28 GMT
I tried pinching some spaghetti at the supermarket today but the female security officer saw me and I couldn't get pasta
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Post by BigBruvOfEnglandUK on Sept 5, 2022 8:54:20 GMT
What did E.T.'s mother say when E.T. got home? "Where on Earth have you been??!!"
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brothersteve
Caneguru
He ain't heavy, he's my brother
Posts: 2,230
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Post by brothersteve on Sept 6, 2022 12:18:00 GMT
This is a true story that happened at work 12 years ago.
The boss was 50 and started telling 3 of us how he thought he looked really good for his age as we all look at each other and kinda smirk. He keeps going on saying "...no, really, I look darn good for my age - just need to lose a few pounds..." One of the guys cracks a smile as he's walking away and says "...yeah, I don't have any mirrors at my house either." and we all started laughing.
The boss was about 70 pounds too heavy.
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moxohol
Caneguru
Biohacker
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Posts: 3,263
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Post by moxohol on Sept 6, 2022 16:36:04 GMT
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